The History of Ryan Stack
Ryan Excalibur Stack was born on June 11, 1986. His parents, Kevin Sorbo and Lori Laughlin, decided to give him the middle name Excalibur because he was born with a 4 foot sword which he used to defeat Zeus. At the age of 3, Stack said his first word. He was walking in his kitchen and walked up to his mom, and said "One day, mother, i will have the greatest six pack to ever grace this land". His mom then beat the shit out of him for hours, and stack did not talk again til he was 15. When he was 8, he started to work at the African circus, which was headed by Martin Luther. Luther took Stack under his wing and showed him the art of juggling balls, as well as women. Stack often says that Luther was his inspiration for his future "projects". When he was 9 he beat Super Mario Bros. for the first time! He did his first sit-up when he was 10, and he then passed out. At the age of 11, Stack joined the then popular WWF. He took the alias "Doink" and he decided that dressing as a clown would fulfill his sexual desires. While wrestling, he met his first true love, heroin. Stack was known to shoot up H 30 times a minute. Which should have killed him, but actually only made him stronger. At the height of his addiction he was military pressing four african men. He also learned how to read. After his WWF fallout, Stack decided that he would be best suited as a Calvin klein model, here he made tens of dollars and got his first birthmark. He played on the Bulls for a short period of time, until they realized he couldnt play basketball. That leads us to present day, where Ryan Excalibur Stack is attending the University of Illinois. There, he discovered the Octavio, an ab routine designed for the emporer of the universe. His 6 pack has been the highlight of the university, shadowing the once undefeated basketball team. Stack now has 10 children, most of them in their late 20s, and none of them able to read.

Others
Ryan Excalibur Stack owes everything he has today to his mentor's at the university of illinois, namely Billy Vanexecutor, Pat Schreck, and Samuel L Jackson.

Email Me!

Links to Other Sites
Foftball Site